A Farewell to Fair Cruelty
by Briar Hecate
Summary: The story of a resistance fighter and a force sensitive, brought together by unusual circumstances. Rated M for later chapters. PoexOC
1. Where we begin

My master, not myself, lacks recompense.

Love make his heart of flint that you shall love,

And let your fervor, like my master's, be

Placed in contempt. Farewell, fair cruelty.

-Viola, _The Twelfth Night_

* * *

The forests of Hosnian Prime were thick, lush, and teeming with life. Poe Dameron picked his way across a well-worn path along the shore of a small lake. The morning was cool, but bright. Sunlight shone through the leaves, etching patterns on the forest floor. His droid, BB-8 followed behind him in a whir of mechanized babbling. The droid loved the weekly trek they made from camp to the stone villa tucked away in an obliging copse of trees.

Birdie's home was a half hour hike into the forest. Poe paused for a moment, admiring the old brick structure. Twisting vines and wildflowers decorated her home. She'd been living here for a year, and he was pleasantly surprised at how well she'd taken to life there. He smiled, remembering when he'd first brought her here. It would have been easier to get blood from a stone rather than try to make conversation. She had retreated into her home, cultivating and refining it until she'd felt comfortable. For a long time, he and BB-8 were the only visitors. Not even they were quite welcome.

He was pretty sure that she forgave him for uprooting her and hiding her away with the Galactic Resistance.

BB-8 chirped happily beside him. _You're boring when you get lost in thought like that_.

Poe laughed, 'Thanks for that little buddy.'

One of the young resistance fighters was sat on Birdie's porch, enjoying a cup of tea and breathing in the scent of pine needles. A leg bound in a cast was stretched out before him, along with a walking cane. He smiled in greeting, raising his hand as Poe approached.

'Morning Dameron!'

'Morning Cage,' Poe replied.

'I'm guessing you're here to see Bird.'

In spite of himself, Poe felt a flare of jealously light up in his gut. He'd originally shortened her already short nickname… which was short for Briseis. He felt stupidly protective over it. He'd originally called her Birdie because he had trouble pronouncing her name (and who wouldn't, although BB-8 seemed to get it right), and she was like a bird. Lithe and pretty, with a very becoming singsong voice.

'Yeah,' Poe answered, more curtly than he intended.

'She's out back in the garden.'

Poe nodded his head and walked into the house. It was a big and airy affair, something left over from the old Republic. It was built out of grey brick and mortar. From the entrance, Poe could already see the garden, walking through a columned portico surrounding a fountain that lay in the middle of the house. Birdie had ripped up some of the floor tiles and grew vegetables, herbs, and wildflowers.

The smell always hit him first; perfume with an earthy undertone. It smelled just like her.

'Bird?' he called out.

She popped up from the cover of green, leafy foliage. 'Hello Poe!' she replied, her lips quirking into a smile.

He walked out into the garden, BB-8 following closely behind. 'Hello to you too,' Birdie added, bending over so she could pat the little droid on the head. It bleeped a happy greeting to her. To be fair, it wasn't hard to be taken with Birdie. She was sweet and had always been exceedingly kind to the droid, just like she was to everything living.

Even though her and Poe had gotten off to a rocky start, she'd eventually warmed to him. Finally, they had become friends. She'd even started laughing at his teasing instead of bristling at him, and was getting used to hugging in lieu of formal handshakes. Poe had been more than willing to oblige her with human contact, after she had lived so long without it.

'What kind of business would you like me to sort out this time?' she asked, taking off her gloves and walking through the garden, toward the shade of the portico.

Poe followed her along. 'So I need a reason to have a visit with you?' he asked teasingly.

'You know that you don't Poe, or you BB-8,' she added, winking at the droid, who buzzed, delighted.

'Tea, then?' Poe asked pointedly, smiling.

She sighed, smiling broadly. Stopping under the portico she pulled the handkerchief from her head and used it to mop her brow. Her brownish-blonde hair was tied back in an intricate braid, looping around her head, framing her pale skin and dark green eyes. She was flushed from working outside.

Poe wondered if he'd ever seen anything more beautiful.

'Come on then you two,' she instructed, leading the way into the house's kitchen.

She had left the doors open, showing off the picturesque view of the lake. The sound of water lolling against the shore could have put Poe to sleep. Hosnian Prime reminded him of his home on Yavin 4. He loved being near tall trees and water; it evoked his childhood… when things were a lot simpler and happier.

'I think that Myron is ready to go home,' she said, referring to the young man sat contentedly on her porch. She warmed up an old kettle of water.

Poe snorted, 'Are you kidding me? He wouldn't leave here if one of the vid stars put up shop down the street and offered to marry him.' He cringed when she turned her back to him to tend to the kettle. In truth, he had no idea how to broach the subject he needed to chat with her about. Making dumb jokes like this would surely put her off.

Birdie chuckled. 'That's nice then. I'm happy people like coming here.'

'Why wouldn't they? It's a vacation out here compared to the camps.'

She cocked her head, 'But I've heard the best pilot in the galaxy has a very accommodating flat.'

He shrugged, 'It's no hidden paradise, but it does the job. I mean for all the other fighters. Their digs are pretty simple. I'm sure being surrounded by beautiful plants and an even more beautiful woman is a welcome change.'

Birdie blushed. She was quick to change the subject. 'You've hurt yourself,' she said, pointing to his right shoulder, 'I thought I told you to give it a rest, Mr. Dameron.'

'How do you know everything?' he asked, smiling.

'So that's why you're here,' she told him, placing dried herbs in an earthenware cup and pouring steaming water over it. The brew smelled spicy and Poe gladly took it from her hands.

The kitchen, like the rest of the house, had relics from the Republican days. There was a large stucco hearth, and the counter space was immense, as though the kitchen was meant to be used by hired help. Birdie had kept the original furnishings, polishing the wood, and doing her best to repair anything broken. Poe occasionally brought her back gifts from other planets, things like elaborately painted vases and expensive looking dishes. But after her year in captivity Birdie cared little for material things, preferring the outdoors and wide spaces.

BB-8 bleeped, letting the two of them know he was going to power down in the garden. It was his favourite place in the house. They watched him roll out excitedly.

'He loves visiting you Bird, you know,' Poe explained.

'Well, he's welcome anytime, if we can ever drag him away from you,' she baited lightly. 'Let me take a look at that shoulder,' she demanded, putting her tea down on the table and moving to stand behind him.

Knowing the drill, Poe removed his jacket, and then his long-sleeved black shirt. She placed both her hands on his skin, humming to herself as heat from her palms soaked through to his aching muscles. He'd torn something in his shoulder on the Starkiller mission over a month ago, and repeated visits to Birdie had helped him recover.

He sighed as she healed him, all the knots and pain unwinding in his back.

'There's something else on your mind Poe,' she said. Her senses were always heightened when using the force. Though she couldn't read minds, she could tell that there was a particular thought niggling at him.

His heartbeat quickened as he remembered his conversation with General Organa earlier that day.

' _That's what the First Order wanted to do with her, breed her?' Leia Organa asked Poe, her brow furrowed in contemplation._

 _He nodded his head. He hated talking about it. Thinking about Birdie, who was meant to give life to things, and heal things, and make things better, stuck in a dark cell for months on end, was enough to make his fists clench in rage. If he ever got his hands on that Kylo Ren..._

' _And… did they?'_

 _Poe shook his head. 'From what she told me, no one touched her. I don't know if she would have been able to…'_

' _Dameron, healers are excessively rare in force users. Even Luke had trouble pulling that off,' she told him, sighing heavily._

 _Leia had given him a hard look, a look that meant she was about to ask him to do something he wasn't going to like._

' _What are you implying General?' he asked her cautiously._

'There is something I have to talk to you about Birdie. It's important, and I don't think you're going to like it. In fact, I'm actually certain you aren't.' Poe told her, folding his hands over her own and removing them from his aching joint.

'What is it?' she asked, her voice barely registering above a whisper.

'N-nothing, look,' he grabbed a chair, pulling it close to him. He had no idea where to begin. 'Bird, sit down.'

Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears as she sat, fisting her hands in her tunic. 'Is it… I know that I'm not good at seeing lots of people at once, but I-I could-'

'Shhhh, Bird, don't worry. You aren't going anywhere,' he told her softly, wanting desperately to wipe her tears away.

'What is it then, Poe?' she asked, leaning in close to him.

'Bird… have you ever thought of having children?'

'Having children?' she echoed.

He nodded his head. 'Of becoming a mother?'

She knitted her eyebrows together. 'I haven't really… no. I'm not sure I'd like it if my children… turned out to be like me…'

'Really? Because you know that healing is a really special thing, Bird. Not even Luke Skywalker can do it all the time.'

Her green eyes widened. ' _Really_?'

Poe nodded. 'Yes… and if you had children that could heal… that could be very… beneficial to us…'

'Beneficial?'

Poe could see her registering his words. She leaned her head against her hand, staring up at the ceiling. 'The General wants more people like me to help the resistance?'

Poe nodded his head. 'People like you are hard to find Bird… really hard. That's why you were held captive for so long… the First Order, well, they wanted children by you and one of their more powerful force users.'

Birdie balked at that. 'I can't _believe_ that! I never even saw anyone once the whole year I was locked up there! No doctors or anything!'

Poe nodded. He bit the inside of his cheek, thinking that it was going to be hard to convince her to do it for real, for the Resistance this time.

She seemed to be ahead of him, understanding with General Organa was going to ask of her. Birdie stood up, walking over to the kitchen counter and digging the heels of her palms into the wood. 'You want me to make healer children,' she whispered, bowing her head.

'Yeah,' Poe answered gravely.

'How?' she questioned, turning around, pinning him with her gaze. 'Is this something I can do by myself?'

He wasn't sure if she was naïve or sarcastic. 'Well… um Birdie… I think that you need someone else,' he answered honestly.

'Whom would you suggest I make children with then?' she asked.

Poe shrugged his shoulders. 'How about with me?'


	2. A year before

Hi all! I hope you are enjoying! Please do not forget to like and review. I will be posting a new chapter soon! Briar xx.

* * *

"Come, let's away to prison;

We two alone will sing like birds i' the cage:

When thou dost ask me blessing, I'll kneel down,

And ask of thee forgiveness: so we'll live,

And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh

At gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues

Talk of court news"

\- Lear from _King Lear_

* * *

Briseis was sure she was going to die.

She was lying on jagged, wet stone, staring up at the sky. It was grey, snow falling softly, landing on her nose, and soaking into her skin. She could feel the dark Jedi approaching. The force had cursed her terribly with its heightened awareness. She knew that he could feel her and he knew exactly where she was. Lamb to the slaughter.

She didn't have the energy to squeeze her eyes shut. After a year of living as a prisoner she promised herself that the only way she'd go back to the clutches of the First Order was dead.

Her stomach turned as she thought about the dark cell, with its metal walls, its stiff bed, the awful, rusty smell. She'd only been allowed out twice a day: once to go to the fresher, and once for a quick walk around the bowels of that awful ship.

She put a hand on her abdomen, willing herself to stay calm. She did not have a blaster. Instead she had a knife tucked away in her trousers. Shakily, she reached into her pocket, feeling the long, cold handle, slowly pulling the leather sheath off the blade. Her father had given this knife to her as a way to cut back weeds and stubborn vines from their family garden.

Some of her fondest memories were in that garden, where her mother and father, horticulturalists by trade, taught her how to plant seeds and nurture them. Smiling, she thought of the damp dirt beneath her fingernails, the songbirds twittering in the lofty trees.

A calmness washed over her as she held the blade to the soft skin of her chest. She'd grown sick and thin from her months holed away in the ship. Finally, her body swelled with some softness again. Though the cold, hard ice planet was not as flourishing with foliage as her home planet, she managed to cultivate some soft mosses and thick brambles. She felt like she was just beginning to get her life back again.

 _I'm not ready to die_ , she thought to herself. _I'm not ready_.

But Briseis had prepared herself for this moment a hundred times. She'd thought about it, wrestled with it, and eventually come to terms with it.

It would be better for her to die then be locked up again. In fact, she was certain that she would be saving herself from an already worse fate. She had no idea what the first order wanted or even needed from her.

She always knew that she was different. Her parents were delighted how things seemed to grow so well around her. How she could miraculously stay bleeding cuts, or make broken bones stitch themselves together again. _It will be our secret, Briseis_. She remembered her mother telling her _. Just you, your father and I_.

They made a game out of it. Briseis even stopped thinking about it after a while. She regarded it as some odd knack she had with plants and left it to that.

But then they found her, and ripped the world from under her feet.

Tears were streaming down her face now, she could feel that awful, black-cloaked man getting closer to her. Slowly, she began pressing the knife into her chest. She broke the skin there, sinking it deeper.

'Stop!'

She screamed. A hand was covering her own, ripping the knife from her grasp. It clattered on a rock somewhere.

Her vision was blurry from the tears. She blinked them away desperately. It was a man, but not the terrible hooded figure that had been chasing her.

He leaned over her, all dark hair and eyes, pinning her hands on either side of her.

'My name is Dameron, Poe Dameron. I'm going to take you with me'

His voice was gruff, manly. So unlike the mechanical drawl from the masked Jedi, or the wheezy, choppy voices from the Storm Troopers.

'Come on!' he shouted, hauling her into his arms, and rushing forward. She'd blacked out by the time they made it to the ship.

* * *

'It's just a brighter prison, isn't it?' Briseis asked, surveying the old, haggard villa in the middle of the Hosnian Prime forest.

'You are not our prisoner, Miss Thorne. Quite the opposite, in fact. You are free to leave here any time you like… but we hope that you will rest and recuperate here for as long as you need,' General Organa said in her stoic, diplomatic tone.

'That will be difficult General, since I am no pilot.'

Organa smiled at her. She wore a long, plain dress, her hair tied back in double braids. She was an older woman, dignified and cultured. 'Well, perhaps Mr. Dameron can give you lessons once he has healed enough,' she suggested happily.

Briseis decided not to tell her that she was also afraid of heights, and the idea of going up in a spacecraft terrified her. If she had it her way, she would never set foot in one again. Unfortunately, that would also mean submitting to the needs of the Resistance.

Poe had come to show her the villa as well, leaning up against the doorframe, arm in a sling and head bandaged. He was walking with a cane as well. Briseis had her hackles up since the pilot brought her here a week ago. Though he insisted he was not kidnapping her, he also told her firmly that he could not bring her back. As a result she had not put much of an effort into healing him.

She knew that General Organa was desperate to see her heal someone. She'd performed her skill on Poe while they were in his tiny space cruiser. He'd nearly passed out from blood loss. Kylo Ren nearly got them both, but they managed to escape him.

Poe was amazed when he woke up, with hardly a scar on him from the brief altercation with the blindingly bright red lightsabre.

'I'll definitely teach you to fly, Birdie. That's what birds do after all, right?' he quipped good-naturedly.

'It's Briseis,' she snapped. 'Briss-ey-isss,' she sounded out.

General Organa quirked an eyebrow at her. For some reason, it felt like the General was chastising her, like she might do to a naughty child. Briseis huffed and folded her arms, turning to look at an ancient fountain, which leaked out water from the lake. The courtyard was all flagstones, but if she removed some, she'd be able to reach the rich, dark earth underneath.

She felt a familiar tingling in her fingertips, and she itched to be rid of the ugly, listless stone.

'I'll leave the two of you to become better acquainted,' General Organa intoned.

Briseis heard the General's footsteps fade into the distance. As soon as she was gone, she knelt down, blowing the dust off a small flagstone, working the edges up with her fingers.

 _What are you doing?_ The small, yellow-orange droid asked in a friendly tone of beeps.

'I am seeing if I can lift some of these flagstones away,' she answered.

The little droid had been so kind to her since she arrived, feeling out of place and overwhelmed by the hive of people. She had grown to like it, even though it belonged to the wretched man that had stolen her away from her second home.

 _Can I help?_ It asked.

Briseis nodded. The droid opened a small hatch in its rotund body to reveal what seemed to be a tiny knife at the end of a mechanical arm. It chipped away at the edge of the flagstone until it came loose. Briseis peeled it away excitedly, exposing dark soil underneath.

'Look!' she shouted, pointing to some worms. 'Things will grow here!'

The droid seemed to share in her happiness, bleeping enthusiastically, and immediately going over to the next flagstone, lifting up the corner curiously. Briseis laughed, digging her fingers into the rich soil.

'See? When you dig a little, you can find the good under a bit of ugly,' Poe said from behind her.

She hummed a response, acutely aware that he was coming to kneel beside her. 'Think my droid likes you,' he said, watching BB-8 industriously removing flagstones from the courtyard.

Briseis didn't respond.

'Look, Birdie. I need your help. If you… if you help heal me, I know some places where I can get you seeds to plant,' he offered warmly.

'Really?' Briseis asked, her keeness betraying her.

Poe smiled at her. He was playful and mischievous, but Briseis noticed something different in his deep brown eyes. He was being honest. She felt like she could trust him in that moment, as though he knew something of her that she didn't yet know herself. Like he knew she could get better… like she could be better.

Sucking in a deep breath she nodded her head. 'Deal.'


	3. Back to the beginning

"Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day."  
—Macbeth in _Macbeth_

* * *

'Well, what did she say?'

Poe was in no mood to be interrogated. Although Birdie knew about the situation, he still felt like bringing this up around General Organa was violating some kind of intimate thing between them. 'She said yes,' he told her quietly.

The General's features eased. They were standing in the sparse reception room of her apartments, overlooking the base and the lake beyond it. If Poe squinted his eyes he could almost see the villa. After a few tries he decided that it was just a trick of the light.

Birdie was well hidden away from the world, and the galaxy beyond it.

'Good,' Organa told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. 'I'm surprised you volunteered yourself for the job, Dameron. She could have picked whomever she wanted, you know. Just as long as… you told her, didn't you?' Organa trailed off.

'Hmm?' Poe asked, turning to face her. He was lost in his own thoughts.

'You told her that she could pick… her partner…'

'Um, yeah,' he answered. He had said that… in so many words. He was sure Birdie knew. He was just providing her with a suggestion after all.

Organa eyed him, narrowing her gaze. 'Good,' she replied, placing her hands behind her back. 'I know what you must think of this… of me,' she said evenly. 'This is war Dameron. We got the Starkiller base, so what? They're going to hit back, even harder. Could be in three weeks… could be in three years. I'm just making sure we have the best chance.'

'Did you… did you and Han have a wedding?' Poe blurted out suddenly.

Leia Organa regarded Poe for a moment, and he thought he saw a ghost of pain gloss her gaze. She set her mouth in a hard line. 'Yes, we did. Small ceremony. Just Luke and a few of our friends were there… but it was nice.' She chuckled to herself, 'I wasn't suggesting marriage as a requirement, Dameron. You must like the girl.'

Poe didn't answer. Instead he asked, 'Am I dismissed?'

'Yes, I suppose you are,' Organa answered.

Poe turned on his heel, before he exited the room, he added: 'I'm sure you'll keep this between us, General.'

'Of course,' she answered, nodding her head. 'But I can't keep it a secret forever, Dameron. Think about what you really want. That's the only advice I can offer you. Belonging to someone changes you.'

* * *

'I'm going back to the base, Birdie,' Myron Cage told her, pointing his finger toward the entrance hall.

'Are you sure you're alright to walk?' she questioned. Myron had a badly broken leg that had resulted in some nerve damage. She'd been able to heal most of the impairment, but he'd always walk with a bit of a limp. She made him keep it in a cast in to stabilize it while she worked with him.

'I'm sure, the leg feels real good. It's just because you're overly cautious,' he said, smiling.

'Yeah, well maybe a bit of caution would be good for you! Keep you away from anything that will break your other leg,' she replied, returning his smile.

Myron reached for her hand, lifting it up to his lips, kissing her skin gently. 'It wouldn't be so bad if I had to come back so soon.'

Birdie felt heat in her cheeks, as she unceremoniously yanked her hand from his grasp. He took a step back, blanching, mumbling some kind of excuse about having to be on the base. Birdie winced as she watched him disappear into the dark forest, a few fireflies danced in her line of vision, laughing her. She swatted them away, frustrated.

Was this what it was like between men and women? How was she supposed to be with someone… to make children with someone…?

'Damn it all,' she whispered, clapping a hand over her face.

'That was _really_ awkward.' Birdie recognised the light, airy voice immediately.

'Jess?' she asked, squinting her eyes, trying to see her in the fading light.

Jessika Pava lit up her torch, illuminating the garden and columns, casting a yellow light on everything. Birdie shielded her eyes as Jessika let out a hearty laugh.

'Thanks Jess,' Birdie said, letting out a laugh and batting her torch away. 'What a time to eavesdrop on me.'

Jess pretended to be offended at her presumption. 'Eavesdropping? On the least interesting person in the camp? Please… I came here because I gave myself a nasty cut fixing my X- wing today,' she said, winking at her.

Birdie sighed, motioning for her to follow, 'Okay, come on.'

Jess had stopped her giggling, but Birdie could tell that she was wearing a toothy grin. Jessika, in a lot of ways, was everything that Birdie was not. She was confident, outgoing, brave, and the camp's resident spitfire. But, she'd always been pleasant and gentle with Birdie. Only in the past few weeks had she ventured to poke fun at the healer.

'Sit on the bed,' Birdie told Jessika.

She obliged happily, hoisting herself up so the two of them were at eye level.

'Myron's not only the best looking new pilot; he's pretty damn dashing too, Bird. That's probably the first time I've seen him tongue tied.'

Not wanting to seem out of place Birdie announced: 'I thought so too.'

Jessika cocked an eyebrow at her, 'Really? Did you… _really_?'

Birdie nodded her head vigorously, distracting herself with work. She wiped some of the dried blood off of Jessika's forearm, working her palms on opposite side of the torn flesh to create a clean stitch of skin.

'It might scar this, Jess,' Birdie murmured as she closed her eyes and allowed the force to flow through her.

'Ah, that feels really nice Bird,' Jess whispered, also closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

In a few moments the wound was closed and Jess readied herself to leave. 'You know it's funny,' she quipped, 'I always thought you and Poe… had a thing.'

'Poe?' Birdie's voice heightened at her suspicion. 'Why would you think that?'

'Because he always comes up here to visit you!' she replied as if it were common knowledge.

'But he must have all the girls in the camp chasing after him. He probably has… I don't know… a reputation…' Birdie cringed again when she was turned away from Jessika, pretending to fold towels. She felt awful saying such things about Poe, as they were never any of her business. But she'd begged Poe to keep his suggestion to her this past morning a secret while she mulled it over.

'Well… don't you sound missish! Poe did have a reputation earlier in his career, but he's pretty much kept his nose clean since coming here, Bird. I'd say he likes you,' she added at the end, mildly. 'After all, people have to grow up sometime.'

Birdie hugged her arms around herself, leaning against the entrance to the healing room. She stared out at the moonlight reflecting off of her beautiful, wild garden.

'Bird… are you okay?' Jessika asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Birdie flinched at the contact and Jessika rapidly stepped back. Birdie immediately felt terrible, 'Sorry Jess. The Storm Troopers used to walk me around the ship like that… with their hands on my-'

'Shhhh, I understand. Honestly Birdie, we've all been through a lot here, you don't have to explain yourself. Unless you want to, of course. Then I'm all ears.'

Birdie nodded, forcing a taught smile.

Jessika narrowed her eyes. 'But I have a feeling something else is going on with you.'

Birdie felt tears threatening. She opened her mouth, and then promptly shut it again, remembering herself. 'I… I'm not sure I can tell you… at least not yet.'

Jessika regarded her for a long moment. 'Okay,' she said slowly. 'I get it. Don't worry Birdie… I'll be here when you want to talk about it.'

Birdie grabbed Jessika's hand, squeezing it. She kissed it like Myron had done.

Jessika's face lit up and she laughed heartily. 'What is it?' Birdie asked, confused.

'Oh nothing! It's just… that hand kissing thing… it's usually reserved for men to do to women, if you get my meaning?'

'Oh… right.' Birdie felt stupid for the umpteenth time tonight.

'Don't worry Bird, I like it! It's better than kissing someone on the cheek, don't you think?' Jessika said, happily taking Birdie's hand and kissing it with a loud, playful smack.

'Looks like I still have a lot to learn,' Birdie sighed.

'When it comes to men, so do I,' Jessika laughed. 'I'm just happy I'm not the only one.'

 _Me too_ , Birdie thought, wondering if Jessika new just how much she had to learn, or how quickly she needed to master it.


	4. Nine months before

Hi everyone! I'm really enjoying writing this story. I hope to have my next update up by tomorrow! Please remember to favourite and review. xx Briar.

* * *

"I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?"

—Benedick in _Much Ado About Nothing_

* * *

'Would you look at _that_!' Poe shouted, folding his arms across his chest and laughing to himself.

BB-8 beeped in glad agreement. The pair stood facing the slowly growing garden. In three months Birdie had gotten the place to look rather decent. She'd uprooted the flagstones, starting from around the fountain and working her way out in a circular formation.

She'd requested wild flowers in every colour, vines that would snake up rough stone, and leafy, green vegetables along with some sapling fruit trees.

Birdie popped her head up from where she was working, pulling weeds out of the garden, and watering her carefully cultivated plants. 'You aren't well enough to be out here, Poe!' she yelped, running toward him.

Poe had woken moments before, lying comfortably on a dry, taught mattress. It was high summer and the thin sheets were sweltering. Wearing nothing but underwear, he tested his feet beneath him on the large stone tiles of his bedroom floor. He was delighted that he could stand, even if he had to steady himself with one hand against the wall.

'Aha!' he'd shouted triumphantly.

Birdie, putting two hands on his shoulders, pushed him toward the shaded portico. His smile was broad and he was laughing loudly.

'You obnoxious, stupid man!' she yelled, wetting her handkerchief with the watering can and pressing it up to his forehead. 'Sit down!'

Poe closed his eyes, feeling wobbly. But it was so good to taste fresh air, the water running from his forehead into his mouth. He could taste the cool, crisp well water mixed with salt from his sweat.

He pulled Birdie to him, hugging the young woman to his chest, not caring that he was hot, and sweaty, and unwashed. She squirmed beneath him, struggling. But she felt so good in his arms, little and soft, and smelling like soil. 'You're so good,' he murmured into her hair.

'Oh Poe,' she said, 'you're delirious.'

Pulling away, he watched as her face swirled away from him. Then, there was only blackness.

When Poe woke again, it was dark outside. A thin curtain sealed off his bedroom from the rest of the house, and it blew softly in the cool night air. The view opened up into the garden, and he was amazed at how beautiful it was, washed in a pale blue light.

He closed his eyes, attempting to rid himself of the nightmare that roused him from sleep. His body aching all over from the beatings he'd taken at the hands of the First Order. They had him for three days.

'Poe?'

Her voice was soft. She was standing in the doorway, BB-8 blinking at her side. She was dressed in a cotton nightgown that ended just above her knees. She pulled the curtain aside, carrying a lamp with her. A fine silk robe sat open at her shoulders. He smiled when he recognised it as something he'd brought back from one of his jaunts off planet.

'Hey, Bird,' he said hoarsely.

'BB-8 told me you were having a bad dream,' she answered, concern etched on her face.

 _It's nice when she's anxious for me_ , he thought to himself. Secretly he wished that she worried about him, that she thought about him when he needed to pilot missions away from the Hosnian System.

Her hair was so long, it nearly ended at her elbows. It was crinkled and curly from the braids she usually kept it up in. It was washed in bright golds, tempered with brown. She held the lamp up closer to her face; her dusky green eyes were wide.

'You're pale, Poe,' she informed him, taking a seat on the bed, leaning forward to feel his temperature. The robe slipped off her shoulder as she did so, and he gulped.

'You're beautiful,' he told her, 'do you know that?'

'Poe, what are you talking about? Why don't you tell me about your dream?' she asked, furrowing her brow, like she always did when he complimented her.

'Nah,' he answered.

She nodded her head. Poe wanted to leave his previous mission behind him.

'I heard that young man died,' she whispered. 'It's awful, isn't it? War…' she paused. 'Bad things happen, Poe.'

The young man. His squadron. He'd barely been part of the Resistance for a month and that was the end. How was it possible that Poe had such a long career… an illustrious career, when a kid of twenty could be finished with living so easily? It was a sobering thought, and one he couldn't dwell on for too long.

'Poe… it's not your fault,' she told him.

'It's not your fault either Bird, what happened to you,' he replied quickly.

She lifted her eyes to meet his. 'I guess you're right,' she said, shrugging her shoulders.

He sat up, leaning in closer to her. 'Why do you punish yourself Bird? Out here, all by yourself? Why don't you tell the General to screw it and leave? Why don't you go and take what life owes you?'

Birdie shook her head. To his surprise, she was smiling in the dim light. 'Think this place is… I don't know…' she gestured to the garden, 'growing on me.'

'Bird… did you just make a _joke_?'

She chortled lightly. 'I guess you're growing on me too.'

They sat in relaxed silence for a few moments.

'You see this as punishment. And I don't know… maybe it was for a little bit. But… it's not so bad anymore is it? I see people often enough you know, Poe.'

He wasn't sure what came over him. Maybe it was the dress, the lamplight, her nightdress, the way she finally was beginning to sound happy… He put his hand around her neck, and pulled her close to him.

He silenced her gasp with his lips, drawing them closer together. She remained stock still as he worked his lips against hers. When he pulled away, she was sat there, eye closed, lush lips swollen.

'What was that?' she whispered, touching her lips.

'A kiss,' he answered. It was too late to regard the question as absurd.

She placed a hand on his naked chest, feeling the pull of muscles under his skin. Suddenly heat was filling his entire body. The pain slowly, steadily leaving him. His mind was suddenly cleared, calm. 'Close your eyes,' Birdie commanded gently.

He did as he was told, settling back into the mattress, feeling as though his body weighed a thousand pounds.

'Sleep, Poe.'

* * *

Birdie was in her garden working, like she always was. Poe woke feeling light and at ease. There was no more pain, he finally felt like his old self again. The events of last night were a bit of a blur…. But when he remembered her bitten lips and wide eyes he felt a quiver of excitement rush through him.

'Birdie?' he asked.

She was not responding to him, engrossed in some kind of work in the garden. She was hunched over, wearing a wide-brimmed hat. He walked toward her, careful not to step on any fledgling plants.

'Bird!' he said a little more loudly, placing a hand firmly on her shoulder.

She screamed, splitting the air between them, whirling around with a trowel firmly in her hand, ready to attack. He held his hands in the air. 'Bird, its me!' he yelled.

He'd seen pilots come back from war like this. Wounds that went deeper than flesh. Birdie's hand quivered as she dropped the trowel in the dirt, spiraling away from him and running toward the kitchen.

'Birdie!' he shouted after her.

He found her cowering in a small corner, BB-8 babbling lightly by her side.

'Leave,' she told him.

'But-'

'Get out!' she roared, causing his droid to roll away from her erratically.

Poe's heart squeezed when he heard her sobbing. He thought it best to do as she requested for now. 'Come on buddy,' he said to the droid, who was hovering around Birdie's shaking body.

The next week Poe went round to the villa like he always did, bringing food supplies and checking in on patients. Birdie was curt and guarded around him, he felt like the progress they had made in the past months was dashed away.

But still she smiled and chatted amicably with him. And as the day wore on she gradually become more comfortable. They would never speak of what happened.

 _So that's it then,_ Poe thought to himself. _No touching… simple enough_.

He'd try to forget the way her lips tasted, the way she felt when she pressed herself up against him, the way her hands were on his chest. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, trying to focus.

 _Simple enough._


	5. Back to the beginning, Part 2

"Action is eloquence."

—Volumnia in _Coriolanus_

* * *

Birdie had been in the camp before, but she usually tried to avoid it. She hated big, crushing crowds. It made her feel like the world was closing in on her, and that in turn reminded her of the cell. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath and set off through the forest.

It was slowly growing warm again. Birdie didn't mind the cool weather. She'd worn a comfortable pair of trousers, and sturdy leather boots. She'd pulled on a warm jumper that she knitted herself when she was living on that wintery planet after a year of captivity. It was warm and loose on her shoulders; she'd purposely pulled one side down, exposing some of her upper arm.

She remembered that Poe had liked it those many months ago. She seemed to recall that he liked her hair out of its braids too. She'd tied it back simply, in a low ponytail, leaving it to curl down her back.

She wasn't sure why she suddenly wanted Poe to look at her like he had that night. He'd been so careful with her after. She wished that she could have explained to him why she reacted the way she did… how it wasn't about him.

Grinding her teeth, she pushed the thought to the back of her head. If she didn't, it would play on her mind all day.

Instead she focused on her surroundings. The trees were growing their leaves again; the smell of pine and wet wood filled her nostrils. She could hear the scuttle of woodland creatures; birds flitted from tree limbs above her.

Gradually, she found herself relaxing, and even allowed herself to smile. She was excited to see Poe.

He'd mentioned the last time they met that he'd spoken to General Organa and told her about their agreement. Birdie had nodded, not asking him that much about it. He also brought up something about a union.

At the time she'd been overwhelmed and distracted; a reconnaissance group had just arrived back from a particularly dangerous mission scouting the First Order. There were two pilots that needed to be tended to. Poe hadn't been allowed to go, he was still recuperating from the battle at the Starkiller base.

That jogged her memory. She'd been to camp recently, needing to heal those who came back from that particular jaunt.

Everyone had been jubilant and despondent, a strange mix. _General Organa had lost her love_ , Poe later explained to her. Birdie did not stick around for the ensuing celebrations; she'd slinked away to her villa, happy to have the chance to relax alone, by herself.

Poe regaled her with enough stories that she felt like she knew the camp and its inhabitants remarkably well. There was Finn, a young man who'd defected from the First Order and helped him make a daring escape. That was a good story; she'd heard it more than once now.

The only person she was sorry to have missed was a young woman, a few years her junior, that was powerful in the ways of the force. She wondered if she could have been a healer, like her.

 _But they let her go_. The thought hadn't occurred to her until now. She'd learned to forget that she was a captive on this planet, and that she didn't have the means or skills to leave.

 _These people are you friends… they've given you food, a place to live, and seeds to grow_ , she reminded herself. But it was all for a price, wasn't it? And now she was going to give her body, her life force in the hopes of making more children like her.

 _I owe it to them_.

Poe had saved her life that day on the jagged, slippery stones. And although her prison was a whole planet, life was not so bad for her here. In fact, it might have been better than living on her own, on a barren world for the rest of her life.

So, she was going to repay the debt. Her mind was made.

Birdie was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly stepped on BB-8, who'd come to greet her at the edge of the Resistance encampment.

'Hello!' she said.

 _You never come this close to camp!_ the little droid buzzed excitedly.

'I came to see Poe, is he close by?' she asked.

The droid offered to take her to Poe's X-wing where he was spending some time fixing it up. The droid whizzed ahead in front of her and she followed behind, only half listening when it babbled away about what had been going on in the camp that day.

Birdie took a deep breath as she walked into the camp. There was a line of X-wings on the edge of the settlement. The buildings were further away, almost separate from the rest of the lithe space crafts.

'Hey, Bird!'

Birdie immediately turned in the direction of her nickname. It was Myron, jogging toward her with a wide smile on his face. He was wearing a blue jumpsuit, tied around his wait to reveal an oil-stained tank top. It was tight across his muscular chest.

'Hi Myron,' she replied, returning a timid smile.

A few other pilots were standing by the aircrafts, and their attention was immediately drawn to them. Birdie felt the colour drain from her face as he approached, taking a few steps back from him. She remembered their awkward interaction a few nights before.

'Good to see you,' he said, drawing her into a hug.

* * *

Poe was tinkering away on a failed engine when BB-8 rolled up to him. 'I admit, you're a lot better at this than I am,' he told his little droid.

 _Birdie's in trouble_ , BB-8 beeped, wasting no time.

' _What_?'

 _This way_ , the droid told him, rolling desperately toward a crowd of people out on the pavement.

Poe dropped his wrench and ran out onto the tarmac. He saw Birdie in the distance, being embraced by… Myron? He took off into a run. 'Hey!' he shouted, as he approached them.

Without a second thought, he pushed his way in between the two, shoving Myron away from Birdie.

'What the _fuck_ , Dameron?' Myron spat.

Poe turned around. Birdie's face was pale and she looked like she was teetering on her feet. He grabbed her upper arms to steady her. 'Deep breaths,' he told her calmly. 'Birdie, look at me,' he told her softly.

She did, he eyes we welling. 'Sorry,' she breathed, 'sorry.'

'You're okay,' Poe said.

'Hey,' Myron shouted, grabbing Poe by the shoulder and spinning him around so the two were facing each other. 'What are you doing, man?'

'Just fuck off Cage,' Poe said, shoving him again. 'Don't you ever touch her like that again.'

Poe grabbed Birdie's hand, leading her away from the group that was now forming around the X-wings. BB-8 beeped some abuse at the crowd before tailing behind the couple.

'Sorry, sorry, sorry,' Birdie chimed to herself.

Poe pulled her through a dark door. Switching on some lights, it revealed a large mess hall. There were rows and rows of empty tables and metal benches. At the end of the hall there was a large window, an old, surly alien clanging pots and pans around.

'We'll be fine in here,' he told her, releasing her hand. 'Sorry about grabbing you like that, but you looked like you were going to faint or something.'

'No, thank you… it's just the-'

'The touch thing, right?'

She flushed, some of the colour returning to her cheeks. 'Yeah… the touch thing.'

Poe smiled, tweaking her chin with his thumb playfully. 'You've gotten better about it around me, kiddo.'

'Well that's because I actually like you,' she answered.

Poe whistled lowly, 'Just don't tell Myron that.'

Birdie seemed to go pale again at the mention of his name. Poe wondered if there was something else going on that she wasn't telling him. 'Have a seat, Bird,' he told her, gesturing to a metal bench.

Birdie obliged happily, putting her head between her legs as she did so. 'Is anyone going to hear us in here?' she whispered.

Poe's heart dropped for a moment. 'We'll be okay, I think. Lunch finished an hour ago and there's the common room on the other side of the settlement where people usually go for some downtime.' His brow furrowed as he asked, 'Everything's okay right? You're okay bird?'

'Yes,' she answered, but her downturned mouth betrayed her. 'I just, um… wanted to talk about us.'

Poe instinctively hated those words. Whenever he'd needed to use those words with women in the past they were never good. 'You're having second thoughts?' he blurted out.

'Can you just let me speak?' she asked gently. 'You get really talkative when you're nervous.'

He laughed at her observation. She knew him better than he thought. 'Yeah I do. But go on Bird, what's on your mind?'

She sucked in another deep breath before continuing. 'Can you tell me more about the union you were talking about?'

'Oh,' Poe said, registering her words. 'Well, I meant it in terms of marriage.'

She nodded her head. 'I think my parents were married. It's like when you make a promise to be together.'

Poe nodded, reaching for her hand. 'Yes,' he told her, 'my parents were also married. I think it's important if we're going to have children.'

'Why?'

Poe was a little taken aback by her directness. 'Well…' he began.

'Can't you have children without doing that?'

Poe quirked an eyebrow up at her, 'Um, Bird… you know how children…'

'Yes!' she said loudly, blushing. 'That's not at all what I meant.'

Poe laughed, feeling a little relief lift from his shoulders. 'Thank force for that.'

Birdie returned his smile but raised her eyebrows and leaned in closer to him, encouraging Poe to continue his previous thought. 'I just… this is harder to explain than I thought it was going to be…'

He shrugged his shoulders, 'I just want to do right by you, Birdie. That's all. I'd want to be there to help you… I want to be there officially.'

'Officially?'

'Yes… as in legally.'

Birdie sighed. 'I didn't know there was more to this, than just…'

'What? Sex?'

Birdie's eyes widened at his crass words.

'Sorry,' he murmured.

'You know I haven't ever been with someone… in that way,' she told him.

'Really?'

She seemed offended. 'Is that so hard to believe?'

'What? No! Sorry… that's not what I meant. I just thought that… I don't know Bird… before you got picked up that you would have…'

'Before I was captured I lived with my sick father. He was a horticulturalist. We studied seeds.'

Poe laughed lightly for a moment. 'I never knew that about you, Bird,' he said, smiling. 'I think we still have a lot to learn about each other.'

'There's still one aspect of this whole situation that I don't understand.'

'What's that?'

'Why do you want to do this with me?' she asked gently. 'I think you'd be giving up a lot… wouldn't you?'

Poe took a moment, letting her words sink in. He sighed deeply. 'I want to help the Resistance,' he said. 'I've risked my life for the cause… but I want to also leave a legacy behind. This is my chance. I'll be honest with you, Birdie… I don't know how much longer I have left.'

He was drawn back to that moment nine months ago. When one of the young men in his squadron had died. It had registered with him then how precious borrowed time was. When the General offered him the chance, he'd taken it.

'That's how I feel Poe,' Birdie told him. 'It's my turn to help too.'


	6. Nineteen years later

Hi everyone, I hope you are enjoying reading as much as I am enjoying writing! I'll be away for the weekend so the next update should be coming on Monday! Please review and like/follow. Briar xx

* * *

Live a little;

Comfort a little;

Cheer thyself a little

\- Orlando in _As You Like It_

* * *

Birdie kept her eyes on the night sky, wondering what had become of them. It was so bizarre that things could be so peaceful here. There was no sign of destruction or death, just concord. A cool breeze blew a few stray strands of hair away from her face. The trees swayed lazily in the wind.

 _Please… keep them safe_ she prayed.

'Shut up Aiden'. She heard her daughter spit. Nola was opinionated and loyal… and never turned down a fight.

'Do you _really_ think now's the time?' Birdie asked, trying her best to bite back the acid in her words. They were all on edge tonight.

'Why haven't they come back, ma?' Aiden asked. His eyes were as wide as saucers and ready to leak tears.

Nola's face was tight with annoyance. 'Stop _talking_!' she shouted.

'Nola,' Birdie said, spinning around, gripping her daughter's shoulders. Sixteen and she was all her father. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, and spirited. She'd wanted to be up there with her father and brother tonight. 'I'm expecting you to look out for your brother and sister. I can't be by your side the whole time.'

For a moment, Nola seemed placated. She was recruited to do something important… and her mother had just given her license to boss around her siblings. Not that she needed one.

The two Poe's (Senior and Junior) had been called out of their beds last night and to their respective X-wings. It was her son's first time in battle, fighting alongside his father. She knew that Junior would have wanted to be flying with younger soldiers that were equipped with more fire and daring. But her husband wouldn't have that. Especially not against the First Order.

She led her family through the forest toward the encampment that had become a veritable city in nearly twenty years. Closing her eyes, she steadied her heart. She had no time to be anything but strong.

'Come on you three,' she said, encouraging them onward.

Aiden and Nola went back to their bickering. 'You _have_ to listen to me,' she heard Nola demand. Birdie rolled her eyes.

Birdie glanced down when she heard a heavy sigh. Silvana, her youngest, ambled beside her, keeping her eyes to the ground, picking her way carefully along the forest floor.

'You all right?' she asked softly.

Silvana nodded her head solemnly. Out of all Birdie's children, her youngest daughter was the most like her. She had dark blonde hair and the same green eyes. She was also the strongest with the force, and a talented healer in her own right. At twelve years old it would be her first time doctoring.

 _This is war._ General Organa's voice echoed loudly in her skull, chastising her for being soft.

It was true… it was war. It had been war for the past nineteen years. And it was finally Silvana's time to look after her kin.

But still, that logic didn't stop Birdie from wishing that she could keep her daughter safe for a little longer. It didn't stop her from desperately wanting to shield her from the ugliness of the fight, the pain of loss. Poe and Birdie had spoken about that a lot after their first had been born. He'd wanted so badly then to put an end to all of this, so that his son would be able to grow up in peace.

They did their best, but the call to arms was always there. Junior was just where he wanted to be, and Birdie knew that scared the hell out of Poe.

So here she was, two children with their first experiences of conflict. The other two were trying to be brave, distracting themselves with petty arguments.

She stopped them at the edge of the tarmac. Birdie could hear the chaos of the first ships landing. General Organa had sent them a message, summoning them to camp. Bright lights and bedlam lay ahead. Birdie savored this private moment of calmness, opening her arms, doing her best to embrace everyone.

Aiden and Nola had stopped quarrelling. They all, in that moment, understood what could be true. They might have lost someone.

'No matter what happens,' Birdie began, 'you all are back at home when this is over. We'll be going through the night.'

Her children stared at her, glossy eyed. No one dared cry.

'Do you understand?' Birdie asked, her lips quivering.

They all sounded a stoic yes.

'Good. Nola, take your brother and don't stray far from the doctors, they'll need all the help they can get.'

Nola folded her arms across her chest. 'Mom, I'm not a rookie, 'kay?'

Birdie smiled, 'Why do you think you're in charge of Aiden?'

Nola shoved her brother playfully, who retaliated quickly. 'Go, go, go!' Birdie shouted, pointing toward the group of buildings. The shouts were steadily getting louder.

Nola set off at a run, Aiden trailing close behind.

Birdie then turned to her daughter, bending her knees so she was eye level with her. She reached for Silvana's hand, smiling gently. 'Okay Sil, it's going to be loud and really crazy. What do you think? Are you ready?'

Silvana nodded her head slowly.

'If you need to cry, do it now,' Birdie told her. 'Because you won't be able to do it when we get there.'

Silvana shook her head. 'I don't want to cry, mom,' she said bravely. 'I can feel them,' she whispered to her mother. 'I can feel Poe, I think he's okay.'

Birdie felt her heart leap into her throat with relief. Silvana was talking about her brother. Birdie pressed her free hand against a tree, steadying herself. 'Don't get distracted Sil,' she said firmly. 'We'll cross those bridges when we come to them. Okay?'

'Okay.'

Birdie grabbed her daughter's hand tightly, leading her across the old tarmac where the kept broken down X-wings for repair. She could almost see herself all those years ago, Poe bringing her to the mess hall, talking about marriage and imagining children they hadn't met yet.

How did it happen so quickly? She felt like she'd blinked and missed it all.

And now here she was, leading her daughter toward the landing strip, a medic's tent already waiting for them. She could see pilots being carried toward it in stretchers. Birdie broke into a jog.

She could just make out General Organa's figure. The woman's arm was raised toward them, waving them over.

'General!' Birdie called out as they approached.

'Dameron,' she replied easily. 'Hello Silvana, you ready?'

'Yes, General,' Birdie's daughter replied in a soft voice.

'Good,' Organa remarked. 'I'd head in there,' she said, gesturing to the tent, 'everyone is in over their heads already.'

'Sure. Is there any news?' Birdie asked, doing her best not to sound too desperate.

The General's lips quirked up into the ghost of a smile. For all the strain of the war, the years had still managed to be kind to her. Her hair, completely grey, was still fashioned in a practical, yet elaborate braid. Her eyes shone with familiar spunk, 'We've won.'

 _At what expense?_ Birdie mused, but she quashed the thought before she could say it out loud. Instead she nodded her head and brought Silvana toward the tent. She paused, taking a breath before she stepped inside. She could hear the screams of medical patients.

'You know, Sil,' she said, looking down at her daughter, 'sometimes singing helps. It keep me calm… attentive.'

'I know, mom. It will be okay.' Silvana marched head of her, ducking under the flap.

* * *

Nola was exhausted. She'd been a medical assistant before, but never for this long. Finally, after a grueling night, she had a moment to step outside and catch her breath. The sun was just beginning to rise, a beautiful gold spreading across the forested horizon. She sighed, wiping her sweaty brow on her sleeve.

'Nola!'

She'd recognize that voice anywhere. Turning around, she saw her big brother, Poe, running toward her. She met him halfway in a tight embrace. She wasn't sure if she'd every hugged her brother for this long in her life.

'You're alright!' She could have shouted that from the rooftops, she was so happy.

'No kidding!' he said, laughing.

'And you're okay?' she asked, pulling away so she could check him over.

As talented a pilot as Poe was, he couldn't heal. Nola supposed it was just one of those things. She remembered asking Poe if he felt left out, as the rest of his siblings all had the gift. He snorted and told her he was better suited to piloting than babysitting sick people. Nola had only been slightly offended.

'Yeah, I'm all good!' he told her, smiling.

'Have you seen mom?' Nola asked.

He shook his head, 'I was hoping you could tell me that.'

'Hey!' Aiden called, running toward them. They both turned to greet him.

'Poe, you're all right!' Aiden barked happily. The two were usually at odds with each other… Aiden preferred reading and horticulture over piloting and engines. The two hugged briefly.

'You guys need to come,' Aiden told them, a little breathless.

'Why?' Poe asked.

'It's dad.'

* * *

Birdie was incredibly consoled to have all her children safe and in one place. Even if that place was around their father's medical bed. After checking over Junior for any injuries, they all poached chairs from around the medical tent and spoke about the battle.

'You should have seen me ma,' Poe told her, smiling. 'Dad and I were taking out these TIE fighters left and right.' He was reenacting with hands, using rolls of gauze and bottles of rubbing alcohol to demonstrate the battle formations.

It was in that moment Birdie realized she'd lost her son to the Resistance. He'd had his first taste of victory, and she could tell that he wanted more. It dampened Birdie's smile. She wondered what his father would have to say about that.

As if sensing her thoughts, that she saw her husband start to rouse from sleep. Birdie squeezed his hand and her heart surged when she felt him clasp her fingers harder.

'Wow… everyone's here,' he said slowly, a smile spreading across his face.

Birdie stepped back as they rest of the family took turns embracing their father, whose head was bandaged, a thick measure of cotton concealing his left eye. Nola and Aiden spoke excitedly about how they helped out through the night, and Junior chimed in every once in a while.

'What about you, Sil?' Poe asked, reaching out his hand to her.

'She did really good,' Birdie said, putting her arm around Silvana's slight shoulders.

The young girl stepped forward into her father's arms, kissing him on the cheek. 'I'm just glad you're back,' she whispered.

'Me too, kiddo,' he replied with a wink.

'Do you want the bad news or the good news first?' Birdie asked, sitting back down.

'Always give me the bad news first,' Poe told her, lolling his head to one side so he could get a better look at his wife.

'The eye is bad,' she told him. 'Me, Sil, Nola, and Aiden have all looked at it. We'll keep trying, but there's going to be some damage, Poe. We'll know when it heals if they can operate.'

She didn't need to fill in the rest for him. You couldn't fly an x-wing without near perfect vision. Poe rested on his back, letting the words sink in. He didn't appear to be too undone by the report. 'And the good news?' he added.

Aiden jumped in: 'Looks like you're finally going to have to teach mom how to fly, dad.'


	7. Five Years Later

"I burn, I pine, I perish."  
—Lucentio in _The Taming of the Shrew_

* * *

Birdie took a deep breath, sucking in the scent of warm, damp earth. She was convinced it was the best smell there was. Aiden giggled beside her, equally as happy to be out playing in the dirt. He'd already smeared it over his cheeks, showing off some of his new teeth.

Aiden was her first child to really take to gardening. Poe laughed when she told him this. 'He's just gone two, Bird,' he'd said.

Poe was an excellent father, but he lacked the intuition Birdie felt when she looked at her own children. It was just like when Poe Junior had been born. She'd known when she held him in her arms for the first time that he would never be a healer. He was too much like his father.

Playful shouts echoed in the doorway, causing Birdie to look up. Junior tore into the courtyard, Finn and BB-8 close behind. Poe had picked up some kind of game for him off planet. Junior was aiming a fake blaster at Finn, pretending to shoot at him. Finn fell to his knees mimicking a dramatic death, comically falling to the floor tiles.

'Gotcha!'

'Play nice with Finn,' Birdie told him softly as she picked up Aiden and walked over to welcome the pair.

Finn sat up as Birdie approached, waving at her in greeting. 'It's been a while Birdie!' he said, standing up and pulling her into a hug.

'You're warm,' Birdie told him, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead.

He laughed loudly. 'Me? I'm fine! You're too worried, Bird!'

'Just checking,' she replied. 'Why don't you come to the kitchen for a cup of tea and something to eat? If you're here I'm sure the rest aren't far behind.'

'Might be a little far. We pretty much ran the whole way, didn't we buddy?'

He high-fived Junior. 'Speaking of being sick… not to be rude or anything Birdie, but are you doing okay? You look a little pale.'

'Oh, I'm doing great! I had to do a little healing this week… it's probably that.'

Finn took Aiden out of her arms when she struggled to reach for the kettle. Finn was a natural with children. He once told Birdie that he used to help out with the younger Storm Troopers that were brought in for conditioning. It had made her sad to think about Finn in his white armour, his whole childhood ripped away from him.

While the kettle boiled Birdie prepared some salad with fresh vegetables, chatting amicably with her friend.

She paused for a moment when she opened her box of tealeaves. The spicy smell made her retch. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes.

Finn stood suddenly, but Birdie put a hand out to stop him. 'I think I caught something,' she told him.

'Well, doesn't surprise me. You spend so long taking care of other people. You should really go on vacation or something.'

'Have you ever been on vacation?'

'Of course not. That's something for rich… normal people, isn't it?' Finn said, adjusting Aiden on his lap, getting ready to start a game of peek-a-boo.

'And for people that aren't afraid of spaceships,' a familiar voice teased from behind her.

Before Birdie could turn around, she felt Poe wrap his arms around her, burying his face into her neck. She shivered as he planted a kiss on her neck. She felt his tongue taste the salt there.

'Good to see you too,' she whispered, turning around so they were facing each other.

Poe immediately drew her into a long, lazy kiss. He never failed to set her heart fluttering when he did that. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself up against him.

'Not in front of your kids… gross!' Finn shouted in mock disgust, shielding Aiden's eyes. The baby giggled cheerfully on his lap.

'I'm making tea and something to eat for everyone,' she told Poe. 'Why don't you have a seat?'

'Are you sure you don't want me to?' he asked.

She shook her head. 'Nah, I'm just finishing this up now actually.'

'Yeah, she almost hurled all over the counter too,' Finn added with raised eyebrows.

Poe immediately set his mouth into a frown, something he always did when he was concerned. 'Really? You feeling alright?'

'Yeah!' Birdie replied, maybe a tad too enthusiastically. 'I've just been feeling a little off for the past week and a bit.'

Poe cocked his head at her and squinted his eyes. This, she had also come to learn, was what he did when he was formulating an idea about something.

'Can you let me see it?' Nola's whiny voice permeated the kitchen. She always had that tone when she was trying to get her way.

She was perched on Rey's back, and Junior wasn't far behind them. 'Yeah, when do we get to see it again?'

'Oomph! You're not as light as you used to be, Lo!' she said, squatting so Nola could clamber off her back.

Since Nola and Junior had seen Rey's lightsabre, they always wanted her to engage it. They were fascinated by the electric blue light and the mysterious power it took to wield it.

'You know, I brought you two something from my trip away,' Poe said, in an attempt to change their focus.

Rey took that moment to slink away and stand beside Birdie. Finn had gotten up, passing the toddler to Rey, who took him on her hip. 'Sit down Birdie,' he said to her, 'I think I know my way around this place.'

It was a running joke that Birdie's pantries were so full of herbs and floral remedies that only she could navigate its ramshackle contents. Birdie smiled at Finn in relief, happy to be able to sit down. Poe had Nola and Junior entertained anyhow. She leaned back into her chair, stretching out her legs.

'You look much better today, Rey,' she told her.

Rey was lolling Aiden to sleep, holding him tightly to her chest. Rey was less confident around children, though she'd grown considerably more comfortable as Birdie's own brood had grown. She had even offered to walk Junior and Nola down that morning to meet Poe and Finn. 'I'm feeling better, Briseis,' she said quietly.

Rey was also the only person who still used Birdie's given name. Birdie loved that about Rey. She was never one to follow trends. It felt nice to have someone pronounce it correctly, rolling off the tongue with a series of soft syllables. Brisss-ayyy-iissss.

'That's good then, Rey. I'd say another few days and then you can leave.'

Rey only smiled in reply. She a few years younger than her and Birdie could already see the weight of the galaxy resting on her shoulders. She'd come a week ago after being badly hurt in a light sabre duel with the same evil man who had helped imprison Birdie all those years past.

'Something is going on with you,' Rey said, closing her eyes and knitting her brow.

Nola, distracted as well, came to stand beside Rey. 'I…' she began.

Rey took Nola's hand. 'Try and focus,' she whispered, 'like your mom is the only thing that exists in this world.'

'What's exist mean?' Nola whispered back, but Rey held her hand steadfast. Poe, Finn, and Junior watched, interested, from the kitchen counter. Even Aiden squirmed in Rey's lap, gazing at his mother.

'I think… you are going to have another baby…' Rey said, opening her eyes.

Birdie folded her arms across her chest and sighed heavily, taking in her words.

Poe puffed out a low whistle. 'You're a fertile thing, aren't you?'

Birdie just shrugged her shoulders, shooting Poe and exasperated look, 'Well… it's entirely possible.'

Finn wrinkled his nose. 'I feel like I've gotten to know more about the two of you today than I ever wanted to.'

* * *

Poe wrapped his arm more tightly around Birdie, pressing their bodies closer together. He missed the feeling of his skin against hers. It was something he'd dream about in the cramped little bed on his star cruiser.

Absent-mindedly, he ran his hand along her abdomen. 'Do you have another little Dameron in there, Bird?' he asked.

She stretched, and sighed contentedly. 'Maybe… too early to tell.' She sat up so she could look down at him, the corner of her mouth turning up. 'You were doing your best last week to make that happen.'

'And just now,' he reminded her, pressing his cheek against her naked back.

She laughed lightly, flopping back down on the bed. Motherhood had given Birdie curves and some stretch marks, but she was still incredibly beautiful. Poe loved it when her body swelled with a baby. It made her glow.

He kissed his way down between her breasts, to the spot just under her belly button that made her tickle. 'You're going to be the last one baby, so you'd better be good to your mom and hurry up and let us know if you're in there.'

Birdie rolled her eyes. 'And I'd like another girl. One that looks like me this time.'

He laughed. 'It's not my fault I've got dominant genes.'

'Beautiful genes,' she corrected. 'But I would actually like someone to recognise her as my child when I go into the city with her on my arm.'

'So sure it's a girl?' Poe asked, eyebrows raised.

Birdie nodded her head. 'Yes, Rey told me. She's going to apprentice her as well.'

'Good, the world could use a blonde, green-eyed Jedi,' he said, smiling against her skin.

'Going to name her after my father,' she said, closing her eyes, beginning to nod off.

'What was he called?'

'Silvanus,' she answered.

'I don't know about that for a girl, Bird.'

'Put an 'a' instead at the end,' she supposed. 'Silvana'.


	8. Back to beginning, Part 3

Hi all, sorry for my late update! I know its a short one, but it had to be! Next chapter is on its way soon! Briar xx

* * *

"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall."

—Escalus in _Measure for Measure_

* * *

'Are you going to live here now?'

Birdie was standing in the garden, fingering some broad-leaved plants. She was wearing a long blue dress that dragged it the damp dirt. It was long sleeved, but sat low on her shoulders, cutting her a slender, enticing figure. She'd decided to keep her hair up in braids. It never did well in the moist air, and it had been raining all morning anyway.

'Do you want me to?' Poe asked. He had hoped that she would bring this up. It was better than him stuffing his military rucksack and hauling it over.

She look at him, eyelids hooded. 'Well…' she began, and then shrugged her shoulders. 'I like my space.'

He laughed, stepping closer to her, 'So do I.'

'And I like being alone,' she countered.

'That's fine by me,' he said, maneuvering around some of the fruit trees.

'And I'll go hours without speaking to anyone.'

He nodded in response, lifting an eyebrow at her. Birdie huffed, folding her arms across her chest. A mist of rain began falling again, but she decided not to move. Poe stood directly across from her, smirking.

Her husband.

Her _husband_.

'Husband.' Saying it out loud made the word feel odd on her tongue.

When she woke up this morning she wasn't quite sure what to expect. She'd known that she would be making a promise to only be with Poe from now on. But… there was much more to it than that, wasn't there?

She'd paid attention during their marriage ceremony. She and Poe now belonged to each other, they could make demands of one another, they could make decisions for one another. They were each other's family.

The seriousness of it was what startled her. She was confounded by how someone, saying a few words could bring two people so close together. Part of it felt fake, like she was lying. Like this ceremony should be reserved for people who really felt that way about one another.

And although she liked Poe and even considered him a friend… she couldn't imagine them being close enough to be family. She valued her independence too much; her loneliness was something she had come to cherish.

And now she'd not only promised to be someone's family, she'd also promised to share her life with him.

Birdie closed her eyes, tilting her face up to the sky. The rain fell harder.

* * *

Poe watched as the dress his new wife wore got soaked through, clinging to her skin. _Wife_. The word was weird and fresh and exciting. Birdie looked a little bewildered at the ceremony, trying to process every word, and every meaning behind that word. She wouldn't be quick to let him in, to renege some of her sequestered world. But he couldn't wait to try and earn her trust. They'd come this far anyway.

He didn't really have anything fancy to wear, he had realized with some sheepishness this morning. Wedding ceremonies were big, ostentatious things in some cultures, for rich and famous and important people. But he and Birdie were none of those things, so what did it matter anyway? He hadn't even enough time to find a new leather jacket. Instead he settled for a plan white button up and dark trousers.

He couldn't help but wonder what his parents would think of this strange, beautiful creature he'd married. His mother would have been fascinated by Briseis, and she would have made a point of trying to pronounce her name correctly too. His father probably would have stuck with Birdie, eschewing formality.

He heart sunk a little in his chest, thinking about how she would never have the chance to meet them, to sit with them, to let them tell her secret, awkward, funny things about Poe. He didn't have many people in his life that knew him when he was young. People that knew you when you were young were special, rare. He was pretty sure everyone at the base only knew him as a pilot.

But this was a day for new beginnings. Poe loved a fresh start, and right now he was standing at the threshold.

The dress she was wearing stuck and clung to her body as the rain fell harder, giving him a taste of the dips and curves of her body.

 _Better than I could have imagined_ , he thought to himself.

He wanted so badly to touch her, to run his hands over her skin, to make her scream his name. His fingers were tingling. But there couldn't be any force in his seduction of her. She would never allow it. Poe was patient.

He would have to let her come to him.


	9. Not quite two years later

Couldn't resist uploading the next chapter. Hope you enjoy! Briar xx

* * *

"I would give all my fame for a pot of ale, and safety."  
—Boy in _Henry V_

* * *

Pain. Blinding, burning, white hot pain.

'She okay?'

'Lost a lot of blood.'

Suddenly she was back in the cell, the cold taste of metal lining her tongue. Rust filling her nostrils, making that awful taste well at the bottom of her throat. The lights flickered above her head, glaring fluorescence, making her eyes sting.

And then something was rising from the shadows in the cell. A deep, blood red blade.

She screamed and screamed. But her throat was dry and cracked. _Who is that?_ she thought. _It's not me_.

And then she was being pulled back.

'Birdie!'

'Mr. Dameron, she's lost a lot of-'

'Don't you even fucking-'

'Come back to us.' It was female. A deep, soft voice. A warm hand on her arm, drawing her out of the confusion, drawing her back out of the dark cell. 'Come back to us.'

Birdie gasped for air before she opened her eyes. The soft, dark brown gaze she didn't recognize. It was a young woman, peering down at her with a look of concern and bewilderment.

And then there was a gaze she recognized all too well. 'Ohthankyou, thankyouyouokay?'

Birdie wanted to tell him that she was fine, she just felt a little achy and that he really needed to calm down and tell her what was going on. But she could not force the words out of her mouth. It was too much… she was too tired, and her eyelids threatened to close once again.

'Mrs. Dameron, can you hear me?' It was a doctor, loud and authoritative and irritating. She just wanted to go back to sleep.

'Mrs. Dameron, can you please respond?'

The whole episode was punctuated by a piercing, wailing crying.

'Is that him?' Birdie managed to ask.

The doctor's face was too blurred for her to register a reaction. Everyone had gone quiet. 'Give him here,' she told the crowd. Her voice was weak, but somehow she found the strength to sound demanding. 'Give him to me now.'

The crying stopped as soon as she held the baby in her arms. The blurriness vanished and she could see completely clearly. The baby stared up at her with the same interested fixation she mirrored back. This was hers. She made it.

It smiled and she smiled back. It laughed, and then she laughed. After nearly a year, here the two of them were, meeting each other for the first time.

'Hello you,' she whispered.

And immediately she knew that her little boy would never heal anyone, or wield a lightsabre.

* * *

Poe had wept with sheer relief when Birdie had opened her eyes. He had known something was wrong when he landed and General Organa was there to meet him. Poe cursed at himself, knowing that it had been cutting it too close. But Birdie wanted him to go. She told him that she never wanted to be a reason for him not to do his duty.

But that didn't make him less afraid.

Finn and Rey were right on his heels as they sped through the forest. Finn had only met Birdie a handful of times, and this would be the first time he would introduce her to Rey. It was the only stupid thing he could think about as they raced to the villa. He couldn't let himself go to darker places.

He was only catching clips of the conversation General Organa was trying to have with him.

'We told her to come to the compound… she wouldn't listen….'

 _I should have been here_ , the thought was a loud, ringing noise in his head, berating him over and over again. _I_ _should have been here_.

He marched up the stone stairs, throwing open the big; imposing wooden doors that usually remained open. The tranquil garden was a sharp contrast to the awful screaming. It was coming from a woman and child.

His heart leapt into his throat as he followed the noise. Around the portico he ran, until he skidded to a stop. A nurse was standing there, forearms smeared with blood. 'Mr. Dameron, you need to stop-'

He brushed her aside. Birdie was lying on the table, her face deathly pale, tangled in blood soiled bed sheets. He held a hand over his mouth, nearly ready to vomit.

A heavy hand rested on his shoulder. 'Mr. Dameron she's lost a lot of-'

He spun around, his nausea being replaced with a cold, hard rage for the doctor standing there. He too wore some of Birdie's blood on his hands.

Poe put a palm to the man's chest, pushing him up against the stuccoed bedroom wall. 'Don't you fucking-'

'Poe!' Finn grabbed him hard by the shoulders, turning him to face the bed. 'Poe, she's awake!'

He dropped himself to Birdie's bedside, muttering thanks to whatever the hell was out there that brought her back to him. She was sickly, pale, and thin. Pregnancy had been rough for her, as that all the life force she used to nurture the world around her had gone directly to nourishing and growing the baby inside of her.

'Mrs. Dameron…'

The nurse yammered on about something. Rey was holding onto Birdie's forearm with a protectiveness he had not seen in her since Kylo Ren had almost killed Finn nearly two years ago.

'Give him here,' she said, and it was barely above a whisper.

It was General Organa who was holding the screaming child in her arms. She immediately brought him over to Birdie's side.

Then, summoning some more strength, 'Give him to me now.'

They all watched in awe at the private moment between mother and child. Immediately the baby was soothed and Birdie seemed enthralled.

'We should leave,' Finn said gently, leading Rey and the rest of the group away.

Birdie hardly noticed Poe. She was so engrossed in the new baby, smiling at him, bending down to kiss his cap of soft, fuzzy hair. It was only after the child fell asleep that she looked at Poe and said, 'I need to do the same.'

Her eyes were already closed as he lifted the child from her chest.

He walked out into the shaded portico, where the group turned around to greet him.

'Poe,' General Organa said, walking up to him. 'The doctor needs permission to stitch her up and give her some antibiotics. She should have been administered those a while ago…but…'

Poe nodded his head, 'Yeah. But she's sleeping so be quick.'

The doctor and nurse swiftly walked past him. The doctor brushed shoulders with him, probably still affronted by Poe's assault. The baby squirmed in his arms, still sleeping soundly.

Rey and Finn approached him cautiously. 'So that's the little guy,' Finn said, clapping Poe on the back and smiling proudly. 'Jeez, he looks so much like you, you could have made him yourself.'

Poe laughed hoarsely. He held out his arms to Finn. 'You're good with kids, right?'

Finn took the newborn from his friend with a raised eyebrow, wondering why Poe handed him off so quickly.

It wasn't until Poe fainted that he understood why.

* * *

'That doctor seemed pretty happy to slap you awake,' Birdie said.

It was dark out. The whole house was tucked away sleeping. Except for the two of them. The doctors had patched up Birdie and packed her away to bed. Poe had snuck in with her, their son sleeping softly between the two of them.

'Yeah, well…'

Birdie smiled at him. She looked significantly better than she had that morning. Some of the colour had returned to her cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes had grown lighter after some sleep.

'You can't just punch people you don't agree with Poe. He is a doctor, after all.'

'I actually just threatened him, there's a huge difference Bird.'

She sighed, leaning over to kiss the baby's forehead gently. 'Well, it was all worth it in the end, wasn't it?'

He felt the lump in that persisted in the back of his throat well up again. 'This whole marriage business has made me soft.'

'I think you were soft before you married me,' she retorted, eyeing him playfully.

'When are we going to introduce him to BB-8? I don't want him to get jealous,' Poe asked, doing his best to change the subject.

'I'd like to give him a name first.'

'Right. What about Dan?'

She wrinkled her nose. 'Dan Dameron? Original. Sounds like a washed up vid star or something.'

'You got any better ideas?'

'You came up with Finn's name, I thought you were better at this.'

'Han?'

'No.'

'Luke?'

'No. You're just naming famous people now. Let me try.'

'Fine then.'

'Poe.'

'Poe?'

'Yeah, Poe.'

Poe seemed taken aback. He'd never considered naming his son after himself. He thought that it reflected badly on his part.

'I know he's not even a day old, but there's no question he's yours. Let's name him Poe. It feels right to me.' Birdie seemed adamant.

'All right,' he conceded. Mostly because he was too tired and relieved and happy to argue. 'But he's going to hate that one day. And I get to name the next one.'


End file.
